I think at some point I looked at my own stats on this website and thought, 'jesus christ, 600 deviations?'. I didn't get there meaning to. I used to do a lot in terms of culling poems out that I had decided either I didn't like or that hadn't 'done well', but I grew tired of that judgement. I will admit: while I enjoy writing poetry, and think that I have come to a mature place and even to some extent a recognizable style, I still don't think I am very good at poetry. As far as projects I have tried to launch with physical collections, I'm not sure if I just don't have the dedication or if it's an issue with quality or talent, but they always end up being pretty abysmal experiences.
I'm not one of those people that announces hiatuses from websites. I've never announced one here, though my activity has waxed and waned. Despite liking this site, I have not formed new friendships here. I feel instead that I have felt the literature community as a whole wax in activity and community with particular folks - and seen it fade and quiet wen those personalities leave. It's an odd sensation, feeling like I have been a somewhat dull but steady presence on this site. It is not that I any longer feel ignored, with four Daily Deviations under my belt and a core of reasonably dedicated readers, even if I still consider myself fairly mid-list as far as writers go on the site.
I guess this journal is a couple of things to me: a thank you for the people who have read my work, who have seen 600 (or some fraction of that) deviations in their inbox, and read some of them; an apology that I have never been able to be the force of a personality here that I occasionally would have liked to be; and a brief examination of where I am, after almost nine years and 600 deviations on a website that managed both to challenge and coddle me in turns.
I wish my gallery was easier to dig through, but while I have made efforts to keep it manageable the truth is looking through it is something like digging through layers of archaeological sediment. It's just as difficult to define the context.
As always, yours,